The social stereotype dictates to us that without making love, life is not only boring, but also not easy. But are sensual pleasures important for our physical and mental well -being, as is commonly believed? Let’s try to figure it out with the psychologist Natalya Fomicheva.
Psychologies: Is it really vital for us?
Natalya Fomicheva: Not at all. Without it, it is quite possible to live. And in the same person during his life, interest in sex can either be awakened or faded away. But I do not like the very idea to consider sex as a phenomenon. I would suggest talking about sexuality that unites the psyche and physiology. With the help of sexuality, we satisfy the cognitive need – the study of ourselves and another. The same concept includes our experience about ourselves as a sexual subject and object, behavior, attraction, reflection.
You agree with Freud that we are moving sexuality?
Sexuality is more complicated than anatomical parts or mechanical actions during intercourse. She gives us creative energy. And creativity is about cognition, interaction, about the experience of taste for life through bodily pleasure, which helps to overcome hardships. But you can not exaggerate and say that we are driven by the desire to sleep with someone.
We are driven by the desire to know something new, to meet someone, to see ourselves through the eyes of another.
I often hear from women: “And I did not know that I was like that until someone told me about it”. In contact, we find ourselves. When the other looks at me and notices something in me, then I can see it. It is no coincidence that we say “sensuality revealed”. It was closed, and it is revealed in sex. We cannot find out what we are in it until we do it.
It is often said that sex is useful for physical and mental health. This is true?
Well … sex does not prevent the development of cirrhosis of the liver, for example. There is a category of people who do not have sex, do not want it and do not experience any problems. And they have no strong differences in terms of physical health compared to those who have sex twice a day. The question is whether there are any experiences in both versions or not.
If everything is harmonious in the sexual sphere, then this will have a general effect on mental well -being. If there are any conflicts, discontent, negative emotions, then it does not matter if there is sex or it is not, tension in the psyche will also influence physical well-being.